The Merging

In moving into Alex's place, and having it become our place, several things have occured to me.

("What?" gasps the audience. "You're moving in?"
"Yes," replies our narrator. "You obviously haven't been paying attention or are coming into the movie late. Please to start at the beginning.")

Alex is quite right about us blending our lives together. I've been de facto living with her for the last several months anyway, and it's interesting. (In that good way!) I love how we've taken lots of stuff of mine and slipped it into places in the house where it will compliment the room or the decor (You should see the JFK picture in the living room!) and not throw off the original feeling of the room. However, I got a lot of $#!+ in my apartment...and while Alex loves some things that I had in my place (like my DaVinci), some things...well...to quote Buffy: "not so much..."

(I am a geek after all...)

Instead of throwing it out, I have carte blance (well, within reason) in my own room. And that's not unlike our relationship.

Both of our personalities and characters were pretty well formed when we met. And while we blend together nicely, we still remain our own persons. We both like who we are and we don't have to change major aspects of ourselves to fit with the other. I'm very glad about that - not just for me, but for Alex as well. I would hate to change drastcally who I am to be with someone and I don't want someone to change their entire personality for me. So not only was I lucky enough to find someone smart, funny, sweet, sexy and fun...but the fact that our personalities mesh so well is...well...Alex said it before...it's like winning the lottery.

A wise man once said "I am what I am and that's all that I am." Well, I am what I am...but now that's not all that I am.

Of watery tarts and heavily armed christians

So yesterday was my first real excursion into the Python world, besides the endless quipping by coworkers and Brian's references. I laughed, of course. It was funny. Course, but funny. Plus, you can't beat live theatre. God, I love it. There's something that happens that's different when it's live, different from movies. I enjoy movies quite a bit (depending on the flick itself) but the performer/audience interaction is palpable, I think. And the Fox lends itself to big-ticket shows with lots of flashy mechanics and stage props. Some would say, theatre at its best. It made me think of the summer in college that I babysat for a couple that worked on the Phantom - stage crew of some kind. As part of my payment, they gave me a couple of primo seats to the show.

We had better seats last nite. It's not that the seats I got that time for the Phantom weren't supposedly in one of the best areas - it's just that I really like the height of the balcony. You don't want to be in nosebleeds, obviously, but I really like to have an overview of the whole stage, particularly in a large production such as this one in which so, so much is going on. So our seats were great - they gave us just enough of the overview while being close enough to actually see the actors' faces, gestures, and so forth.

To digress and counter my own point, I think the most powerful theatrical experience I had was a show put on by a friend and his erstwhile "B-side" theatre company. The stage was a demarcated square in the center of a church hall around which several rows of folding chairs were placed. I could have leaned forward and touched the actors at some points. It was about a man that was coming out, I think, and how he deals with his own emotions when his gay lover (or friend?) is beaten by some particularly unenlightened young men in a dark alley or something. I don't remember the details of the plot well, but the controversial subject matter and the intensity of seeing the actors' emotions up close and personal (some of whom may not have been acting - I had the distinct feeling that they were well-acquainted with a number of the issues in their own lives) was... powerful, there's no other word for it.

But that was not last night - the whole play was fun, no other word for that, either, altough I was frankly a little uncertain about the song describing how you can't make it on Broadway without Jewish involvement. As I write this, I don't know if it was anti-semitic or not. I mean, substitute the words for any other ethnic group and it would probably cause demonstrations, picketing or riots. Not that I don't support free speech, and I'm told the author is Jewish, but still, I think that number treads a fine line. I did not laugh at that one.

Heavy thoughts aside, what made me enjoy the evening the most? Was it just the fact that it was theatre, and I like it so much? Was it going to the Fox (theatre of theatres, and a real treat because of its history in the city) again with Brian? Yes. Was it finally experiencing Pythonique humor? Particularly because it's something that Bri enjoys so much? Yes. Was it that I did, in fact, enjoy the show? Yes. Was it the feeling of being out on the town with my baby? Yes. Was it just being with Brian, whether we are sitting at home, each with our heads in our own books, in quiet companionship or out on a date? Indubitably.

So my score, as a whole: 9 out of 10, in its category. Although I resist the thought of becoming a true Montyite (mostly because I don't like being a "fan" -- short for fanatic -- of anything), I may have to check out a little bit more of this material.

Spamalot!

So tonite is Spamalot, the Tony award winning musical based on Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. We've had tickets since like August, and not only are Alex and I going, but I know Rob and Janet and I think Mike and Bridge are going. Woohoo! Big group!

I love the theatre. If I was sure it would pay, I would be an actor...a very mediocre actor. I would ASPIRE to be the guy on the heat pad commercial saying "I can really feel it working!" Anyway...

I also love going to the theatre with Alex. We've been to Les Miserables already, which I have seen like 4 times. (See Les Miserables, this blog) This would have been the first time I saw Spamalot, except...

On Halloween Night, Alex came home and said "Hey, my mom has an extra ticket to the opening night of Spamalot tonight...I have class...do you want to go with her?"

So I did go out, just me and Dr. Johnson, to the theatre. It was very nice company and the production was so fun. Different enough that if you saw Holy Grail you'll catch a lot, but a lot of new stuff as well.

Anywho, tonight it will be more fun 'cause I'm dressed up with my babydoll next to me. I cannot wait.


We're knights of the Round Table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and Spam-a-lot!

We're knights of the Round Table
Our shows are for-mi-dable
But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able
We're opera mad in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot!

In war we're tough and able
Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable
It's a busy life in Camelot

I have to push the pram a lot!

ARTHUR: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.

Brian's room

So my house has 3 bedrooms. Small, but there they are. One is the master, and the other two have been used at times as the home office or the TV room or the guest room. Most recently, the 2nd largest room was the guest room, and my friend Màire (Gaelic, pronounced "Moira") stayed there for a few months during a transitional period for her.

That room has now become Brian's room. Having gotten all the structural stuff over (computer, desk, shelves, and so forth), he recently spent time putting up lots of wall decoration. Those of you that know Brian will recall his no-square-inch-left-bare policy for decorating. Well, there are a few inches of wall here and there that have nothing on them. Brian tells me he's working furiously to remedy the situation.

Of course, there's some tongue in cheek here, but in all honesty, I quite enjoyed his apartment. We're both feeling some pangs about leaving it behind -- I would imagine Bri more so than me, but really, it was a great place. I don't know that there was a specific item or theme or anything that I could point to that stood out, although there were several pieces that I coveted almost from the beginning (e.g., his Kennedy picture; the Vitruvian Man; his space stuff; his "War Between the Worlds" poster). It was more the fact that his stuff really reflected HIM (his tastes, interests, etc.) and the mood that he set in the place.

Anyway, now that his room is more like him, and since I like him, it's almost a foregone conclusion that I would like the room. There are boxes and boxes and boxes of comics. There are posters and posters and posters on the wall. There are action figures and diplomas and an L-shaped computer desk that takes up a third of the wall space. His lucky bamboo is here. There's an overflowing trashcan... That part I don't find so endearing, but the whole composition is him, through and through, and I love him as he is. Isn't that convenient? I think it would be difficult to make any relationship last that started off with the premise that one or both have to radically change who or how that are just to be together. Not that I am perfect or that Bri is perfect but we really do complement each other well and appreciate both the virtues and the flaws in each other. At least -- so far, so good. ;-) ;-)

Back to the room: as I like the mood of the apartment, I like the mood of the room. And I love that blending our lives has not meant that he's lost himself or that I've lost myself. Throughout the rest of the house we're taking the best of our worlds and mixing them in together, but I also have my own little corners still preserved: My walk-in-closet-turned-computer room and my walk-in closet. I firmly believe that physical space reflects what's happening inside of us, and I like how the scales are balancing out between us. I hope he does, too.

That's when you know he really loves u

So, who ever knows another person's heart? Unless you've held him over a volcano's edge, you may never truly know what they're thinking.

Well, I'm in my home (increasingly, OUR home) typing on Bri's computer. Now this is a gizmo that he himself put together, from scratch. Runs perfectly, has gobs and gobs of memory, and two big, pretty monitors. Yes, Brian's monitors are VERY BIG (there, honey, that's a plug for you ;-) ;-) ).
In any case, he brought one of his cordless phones over, too.

I think that's when you know a guy is really serious about you - when he brings his male toys (no, not sexual toys) and leaves them in your space. Especially something as permanent as his pompooter (computer) and his phone. When it's techno-toys, it's the real McCoy, no doubt about it.

"Normal"

Being "normal" has never really been a goal of mine, so that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean by normal in this blog entry is a normal lifestyle. Ever heard of the curse, "May you live in exciting times"? Well, 2005 was very "exciting" for me - my sister was going through a nasty divorce. She could call her lawyer for $$ per 15-minute phone consult, or she could call her little sister for free. Take a wild guess. Plus, I'd like to think that I offered support and friendship as well. That situation, coupled with my mother's two hospitalizations and a heavy load at work, made 2005 a year that continues to go down in infamy. In fact, haven't I blogged about this before?

Anyway, this year has been exciting, but in the positive meaning of the word, because Bri entered my life. Granted, his father's health (and unfortunately, he's gone now) was/is one of life's challenges that we had to make it through early in the relationship and now my mom's going through something medical (but planned, so not as much of a crisis situation)... But things feel like they're settling into a routine. Bri's bringing more and more stuff over (in fact, his apartment doesn't feel like home so much anymore) and our schedule -- particularly with class 4 nights a week for me -- is intense but tolerable (besides just being tired a lot lot lot). Some day I'll probably fight that and blog about getting us out of a rut but for right now, getting to "normal" as far as the daily daily is concerned feels good. In fact, I want more of it. I want to continue to settle in, continue to stabilize. It feels good and warm and cozy, which is very nice as we're moving in to the winter season. Think hot chocolate, cozy blanket, book on the sofa, while it's icky outside - that's how he makes me feel.

And there are plenty of positive exciting moments -- such as when we got home last nite and Brian revealed the lingerie he had picked up for me while we had stopped in a clothing store for something I was looking for. Apparently, while I was in the dressing room trying stuff on, he plotted with the sales woman to covertly buy some items and then conceal them under his jacket. Focused as I was on my own particular errand, I knew nothing of it until we arrived at home, and voilà! a beautiful set of lacy stuff was set before me.

First, I love the suprise factor (no special occasion, just an "I love you"). Second, I love the covert operation factor. Third, I love that he actually picked something that really goes well with my coloring, plus in a style of stuff that I will feel comfortable in and he will like to see me in - the perfect combination! Mmmmmm: Baump-shiki-baump-baump.

I'm writing this entry in a stream-of-conciousness fashion, but him picking up something that suits me brings me to something else: Bri really listens. The other day, we were looking at some stuff in a store and I made some comments about, "Well, I prefer this style or that detail." You know, whatever, I wasn't even paying attention. He was making his own comments, too, as we went, and we were just chatting as we were going. Well, a couple of days later, he was surfing the web, apparently looking for what I had been talking about. I know he listens but that was a very clear example of it, and it was nice. I hope I listen as well to him. If I treat him half as well as he treats me, I'll know I'm doing a good job in our relationship. I love you, Bri. And I look forward to continue combining our worlds and weaving one new life together.

Six

Yesterday was our 6-month anniversary...
Or our "sixth monthaversary..."
or our "Half-anniversary..."
or our "Halfversary..."
or our "Anniv..."

I know a lot of you are saying "wow, big whoop...6 months..."

Well, for me, it is a huge deal. I've never dated anyone for more than 4 months until I met Alex. And every month, every day...every minute I love her more.

Alas, we didn't get to spend too much of it together - she had class that evening (well, she has class EVERY day...ba-dum-bump) and didn't get home until 9ish.

Now keep in mind that we think certain things are very cool that others may think are pretty bland...I just want everyone to know that when I say what we gave and got.

I got a tie.
She got a pen.

See - I know everyone is furrowing their brow saying "what the hell kind of halfversary presents are those?"

I love ties...I have a very large collection of them and wear them to work most days. I love getting new and cool ties - and this one was very cool - showing ancient maps and star charts, picked up at the USS Constitution in Boston. Sorry - I couldn't find a picture of the exact tie I got. :(

She has a thing for pens - and I'm not talking Bic here - I mean one of those "don't lend to other people so they don't walk off with it" "price of a fairly decent dinner for two" kind of pens. She got it and immediately started writing with it...one of the lines was "I don't think I'll speak again - I will write everything down with my new wonderful pen." This is actually, the exact pen she got.

Anyway, today is the first day of our next six months together. I cannot wait until the beginning of the six after that...and the six after that...and the six-hundred after that...

Sick and Tired

...and tired of being sick.

Okay, this is now the second time that both Alex and I are sick at the same time.

Here's what happened. Saturday, we were both in Salem, MA as part of our Boston trip. How was Beantown, you ask? Well, that's another blog entry....

Anyway, we get up to Salem and a nice steady rain has been going on for about 5 hours now. Not heavy, but steady. We park the car and run to the Salem Witch Museum where Alex was pressed against the wall and I was standing in front of her to block as much of the rain as I could with myself.

"Why the hell would you stand outside when it was raining?" one might ask. Well, the line went out the door. Halloween weekend in Salem is the busiest time of their year, of course.

So Saturday evening, when driving back to Boston (I was taking the, ahem, scenic route) my throat started to feel scratchy and the next day, I was feeling pretty miserable. I started to take some Tylenol cold medicine (which is really good stuff!) on Monday. Tuesday, Alex started to feel pretty lousy as well.

Today I'm feeling pretty good...but I know I'm not 100%, no sir, not by a longshot. Alex sounds worse than she is, but still is feeling yucky.

When we ran up to the Museum, the doorkeeper was standing outside and looked at us. He said, in a thick Boston accent: "No umbrella....no overcoat.......no comment."

Yeah, didn't see this one coming...